Harvard fertility expert Alice Domar offers some hearty come-backs

Here at the clinic we often encounter patients who worry about how to respond to comments from friends and family.  This can cause a lot of stress, especially around social occasions where drinking alcohol is the norm and any refusal of, say, a glass of wine is seen as a sign that someone's either pregnant or trying to get pregnant.

Alice Domar, who runs the Domar Center for Mind-Body Health at Boston IVF and the author of the fantastic book "Conquering Infertility", offers clients handy comebacks for common conversations.

For families trying to conceive:

“Just relax!”

“We already tried that approach, but we’ve moved on to proven treatments.”

“Are you sure you’re doing everything right?”

“We had it down to an art years ago. Now it’s a science!”

For miscarrying families:

“It wasn’t meant to be.”

“If it wasn’t meant to be, why did I get pregnant?”

“You want kids so much? Take mine!”

“In a heartbeat.”

For families with secondary infertility:

“You should be happy to have one!”

“We are grateful to have a child — but few people plan on having only one.”

For childless families:

“When are you two planning to start a family?”

“We already are a family.”

It's always good to be ready and armed for the next time someone makes a well-intentioned yet hurtful comment and these will hopefully offer you a polite way to respond in what can be a difficult social situation.