Here at the clinic we often encounter patients who worry about how to respond to comments from friends and family. This can cause a lot of stress, especially around social occasions where drinking alcohol is the norm and any refusal of, say, a glass of wine is seen as a sign that someone's either pregnant or trying to get pregnant.
Alice Domar, who runs the Domar Center for Mind-Body Health at Boston IVF and the author of the fantastic book "Conquering Infertility", offers clients handy comebacks for common conversations.
For families trying to conceive:
“We already tried that approach, but we’ve moved on to proven treatments.”
“Are you sure you’re doing everything right?”
“We had it down to an art years ago. Now it’s a science!”
For miscarrying families:
“It wasn’t meant to be.”
“If it wasn’t meant to be, why did I get pregnant?”
“You want kids so much? Take mine!”
“In a heartbeat.”
For families with secondary infertility:
“You should be happy to have one!”
“We are grateful to have a child — but few people plan on having only one.”
For childless families:
“When are you two planning to start a family?”
“We already are a family.”
It's always good to be ready and armed for the next time someone makes a well-intentioned yet hurtful comment and these will hopefully offer you a polite way to respond in what can be a difficult social situation.