A very different perspective

Here's a heartfelt and sensitive story about a woman who, instead of having trouble conceiving, was actually having trouble not conceiving.  It's a completely different way of looking at things - being excessively fertile can also have it's problems.  She suffered many miscarriages and after having her children, was in constant fear of another un-wished for pregnancy.

This may be difficult for some people to read but, if you can, you may find it very beneficial to keep a wider outlook and to be reminded that there are other situations where people might be suffering.  We know how easy it is to get wrapped up in our own lives and forget that others have problems that we can't see and they don't talk about.  

One of the most common complaints by patients in the clinic is that someone else 'got pregnant without any problem'.  In these cases we suggest you try to stand back and admit that, you may be right and it was easy, but on the other hand you might not know what problems the other couple have faced or what issues they may face in the future.  It never helps to compare ourselves and our problems with those of others because so much is unknown and un-discussed.  This is one of the biggest problems associated with infertility and the more open you can be the better you should feel.  In the less-reticent and reserved USA, fertility issues are discussed and blogged freely with couples sharing their problems and experiences.  It might take a while before we get to that stage in the UK!

We notice in the clinic that the couples who maintain interests outside their fertility quest and those who talk to others and share their experiences, have a, I won't say 'easier, but a less bumpy ride.  We also know that this is far easier said than done to keep a wider view but it is definitely something worth working towards.

What this story also highlights is also the other side of treating fertility.  Apart from couples trying to conceive naturally or going through IVF, we also see women with pelvic pain, PCOS, hormone discrepancies, hormonal migraines, anxiety and depression.  We teach fertility awareness to couples trying to avoid conception as well as those trying to conceive.  'Fertility' is not one thing - it has a multitude of associated issues which can be dealt with patiently until we've reached that person's or couple's goal.